My Child Wants to Leave College: What Should I Do?

Posted on: 14 September 2026 | 10 min

When a young person says they want to leave college, sixth form, an apprenticeship or a training course, it can leave parents and carers feeling worried, frustrated and unsure what to do next.

You may be concerned that they are making the wrong decision. You might worry about their future, their confidence or the possibility of them becoming not in education, employment or training, often described as NEET.

The most important thing is not to panic.

Leaving a course does not have to mean giving up on education, employment or the future. However, leaving without a realistic next step can lead to months—or sometimes years—of isolation, inactivity and lost confidence.

This is the point at which early support matters.

At Genuine Futures CIC, we believe the first response should be to listen. A young person may not be rejecting their future. They may be telling us that their current environment, course or pathway is not working for them.

Why does my child want to leave college?

Young people consider leaving education or training for many different reasons. These can include:

• Choosing a course that is different from what they expected
• Struggling with academic work or examinations
• Feeling overwhelmed by the size or pace of college
• Anxiety, poor mental health or low confidence
• Bullying, loneliness or difficulty making friends
• Additional learning needs that are not being properly supported
• Financial pressure or problems with transport
• Caring responsibilities or difficulties at home
• Losing interest in the subject
• Wanting to earn money or start working
• Feeling that classroom-based learning is not right for them
• Not being able to see how the course connects to a future job
• A breakdown in relationships with staff or other students

Behaviour that looks like a lack of motivation may actually be a sign that a young person feels anxious, unsupported, embarrassed or unable to succeed.

Before focusing on attendance or consequences, try to understand what has changed.

Start with listening, not lecturing

A young person is less likely to talk openly if they believe the conversation will immediately become an argument.

Choose a calm time and ask open questions such as:

• What is making you want to leave?
• When did you start feeling this way?
• Is the problem the course, the college or something happening outside college?
• Do you feel safe and supported there?
• Is there anything that would make staying easier?
• If you left, what would you want to do instead?
• Who do you trust enough to help you think this through?

Listen to the answers without interrupting or dismissing their feelings.

Saying “you must stay because you need qualifications” may be well-intentioned, but it does not address why the young person is struggling. Listening does not mean agreeing with every decision. It means gathering the information needed to make a better one.

Look for the reason behind the decision

“College isn’t for me” can mean many different things.

It might mean:

• “I don’t understand the work.”
• “I feel like I don’t belong.”
• “I’m frightened of failing.”
• “I’m being bullied.”
• “My anxiety is getting worse.”
• “I chose this course because someone else wanted me to.”
• “I want to work with my hands.”
• “I need to earn money.”
• “I don’t know where this course is taking me.”

The right response depends on the real problem.

A course change might help one young person. Another might need mental health support, reasonable adjustments, help with travel or a trusted adult to attend a meeting with them. Someone else may thrive through an apprenticeship, vocational programme, supported internship or practical enterprise experience.

Speak to the college or training provider early

Do not wait until the young person has stopped attending completely.

With their involvement, contact their tutor, pastoral lead, safeguarding team, learning-support department or careers adviser. Ask for a meeting to discuss:

• Attendance and any recent changes
• Academic progress
• Support already offered
• Bullying or safeguarding concerns
• Special educational needs or disabilities
• Mental health and emotional wellbeing
• Financial or transport support
• A possible course transfer
• A reduced or adjusted timetable
• Alternative provision or vocational options
• A supported transition to another pathway

Ask for agreed actions to be recorded and reviewed.

If the young person does not feel able to attend the first meeting, ask whether they can bring someone they trust. Decisions are more likely to succeed when the young person is involved rather than having a plan imposed on them.

Consider “change, don’t disappear”

The choice is not always between staying on the same course and dropping out completely.

A young person may be able to:

• Transfer to another course
• Change the level at which they are studying
• Move to a different college or training provider
• Begin an apprenticeship
• Follow a vocational or work-based pathway
• Combine employment or volunteering with part-time education
• Access supported employment or a supported internship
• Develop confidence through community-based activities
• Gain work experience before choosing their next course
• Explore enterprise and self-employment

A planned change can protect momentum and confidence. An unplanned exit can leave a young person at home without structure, support or a clear route back.

Before they formally withdraw, try to establish what the next step will be, who will support it and when it will begin.

Does my child have to remain in education?

In England, young people can leave school on the last Friday in June if they will be 16 by the end of the summer holidays. They must then remain in education or training until they are 18.

This can include:

• Full-time education at a school or college
• An apprenticeship
• Working or volunteering for at least 20 hours a week while undertaking part-time education or training

Parents and carers can check the current requirements on the GOV.UK school leaving age page⁠.

The requirement to participate until 18 does not mean every young person must remain on a course that is failing them. It means they need help to find another recognised education or training pathway.

What if my child has already left college?

If your child has already withdrawn or stopped attending, act quickly—but avoid making them feel that their future is over.

Start by creating a simple plan:

1. Confirm their current enrolment and attendance position with the provider.
2. Ask whether re-engagement, additional support or a course transfer is possible.
3. Arrange impartial careers guidance.
4. Identify the young person’s interests, strengths and preferred way of learning.
5. Explore education, apprenticeships, employment, training and enterprise.
6. Introduce a weekly routine while longer-term arrangements are made.
7. Connect them with a trusted organisation that can provide consistent support.
8. Agree small, achievable next steps and review them regularly.

A young person who has become isolated may not be ready to walk straight into an interview, college classroom or full-time job. They may first need to rebuild trust, confidence, communication skills and a sense of belonging.

That is not lowering expectations. It is creating the foundations needed for sustainable progress.

How Genuine Futures supports young people in Bolton

Genuine Futures CIC supports young people who may be NEET, care experienced, at risk of exclusion, involved with youth justice or facing multiple barriers to education and employment.

Our approach starts with trusted relationships and practical opportunity.

We do not define young people by what has gone wrong. We help them identify their strengths, build confidence and take realistic steps towards employment, enterprise, education and community participation.

Support can include:

Boss Your Future

Boss Your Future helps young people develop confidence, employability skills, aspirations and plans for the future. Participants can explore different industries, meet employers, take part in practical activities and build skills outside a traditional classroom environment.

We Shine Any Car

We Shine Any Car⁠ is a youth-led social enterprise through which young people can gain practical experience of customer service, teamwork, vehicle care, communication and running a business.

The purpose extends beyond cleaning cars. It creates a supportive environment in which young people can contribute, learn, earn respect and begin seeing themselves differently.

Try a Trade and practical experiences

Some young people need to experience an opportunity before they can imagine themselves pursuing it.

Practical tasters, employer visits, work experience and community projects can help young people discover strengths that were not recognised in a classroom.

Trusted-adult support

A young person may have been referred between several services without developing a meaningful relationship with any of them.

We focus on consistency, trust and listening. The aim is not simply to place someone on another course. It is to help them find a pathway they understand, value and are more likely to sustain.

You can also read Cameron’s journey through Boss Your Future⁠ to see what can happen when a young person is offered belonging, responsibility and a genuine opportunity.

What parents and carers should avoid

When you are worried, it is natural to want an immediate solution. However, some responses can make the situation harder.

Try to avoid:

• Calling the young person lazy or a failure
• Comparing them with siblings or friends
• Making threats before understanding the problem
• Applying for courses or jobs without involving them
• Assuming university or A levels are the only valuable routes
• Allowing them to leave without any transition plan
• Expecting one appointment to solve a complex situation
• Treating poor attendance as the whole problem rather than a warning sign

Young people need boundaries and honest conversations, but they also need ownership. A plan is more likely to work when it is developed with them.

A different pathway is not a lesser pathway

Academic education works well for many young people. For others, confidence and ability emerge through practical learning, employment, enterprise, creativity, sport or community action.

The destination still matters. Young people need qualifications, skills, experience, supportive networks and access to good employment.

But the route towards those outcomes does not have to look the same for everyone.

The wider challenge is to ensure that alternative pathways are structured, safe and connected to meaningful progression—not simply somewhere to send a young person who does not fit the conventional system.

Advice for schools, colleges and professionals

Preventing disengagement requires more than responding after a young person has disappeared from education.

Schools, colleges, employers, local authorities and community organisations should work together to:

• Identify declining attendance and engagement early
• Listen directly to young people
• Share information appropriately and safely
• Provide accessible careers guidance
• Create practical and vocational opportunities
• Involve families before a placement breaks down
• Develop warm handovers between services
• Track whether young people sustain their next step
• Treat community organisations as delivery partners
• Build pathways into real employment and enterprise

A referral is not an outcome. Enrolling someone on another programme is not enough. Success means the young person engages, progresses and develops the confidence and support network needed to keep moving forward.

Frequently asked questions

Should I make my child stay at college?

Do not rush into withdrawal, but do not ignore the reasons they want to leave. Speak to the provider, explore available support and develop an alternative plan with the young person before a final decision is made.

Can my child change courses?

Many colleges and training providers allow course transfers, particularly when concerns are raised early. Availability will depend on entry requirements, spaces and the point reached in the academic year.

Is an apprenticeship better than college?

Neither route is automatically better. The right choice depends on the young person’s goals, learning style, readiness and circumstances. Apprenticeships combine paid employment with training and can suit young people who prefer workplace learning.

What does NEET mean?

NEET means not in education, employment or training. It describes a young person’s current circumstances, not their ability, character or future potential.

Where can I find further guidance?

Youth Employment UK provides additional guidance for parents whose child wants to leave a course⁠. Families can also speak to the young person’s education provider and obtain impartial careers guidance.

Do not wait until your child disappears from the system

If a young person is missing lessons, withdrawing from others or repeatedly saying that they want to leave, start the conversation now.

Early action can prevent a difficult period from becoming long-term disengagement.

Genuine Futures CIC works with young people, families, schools, colleges, employers and community partners to create practical pathways into opportunity.

If you are a parent, carer, school, housing provider or professional supporting a young person in Bolton, complete our Young Futures Hub of Hope referral form⁠.

You can also contact us:

Genuine Futures CIC
Genuine Futures Youth Enterprise Hub
Metro Business Park
228 Waterloo Street
Bolton
BL1 8HU

Email: hello@genuinefutures.co.uk
Telephone: 01204 954200

Let us start with a conversation and help the young person find a pathway that works for them.

Bridging the gap to opportunity.