“I Wasn’t Resilient Until Someone Stayed”
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A Care Leaver’s Voice on What Must Change
By Paula Yates, Youth Voice Ambassador, Genuine Futures
People talk about resilience like it’s something you’re born with.
Like some young people are just stronger than others.
But that’s not how it works.
Resilience grows when someone believes in you — and stays.
I didn’t become resilient on my own. I became resilient because someone didn’t walk away.
That belief made all the difference.
Leaving Care Isn’t Freedom
When I left care, people expected it to feel like freedom.
A new chapter. A fresh start. Independence.
For me, it felt like the ground disappeared underneath me.
One day there are professionals around you — plans, meetings, people who know your history. The next day, everything goes quiet. You’re expected to manage housing, money, relationships, and your mental health on your own.
That’s not independence.
That’s being left to cope.
The Scale of the Care System — Nationally and Locally
This isn’t a small issue.
Across the UK, more than 107,000 children are currently in care. In England alone, over 81,000 children are looked after by local authorities. These are children who cannot safely live at home and rely on the state to provide stability, protection, and care.
And this crisis isn’t distant or abstract.
Here in Bolton, there are around 700 children currently in care. That’s hundreds of young lives growing up without the security many people take for granted — and hundreds who will one day face the cliff edge of leaving care.
Behind every one of those numbers is a real person.
A child with fears, hopes, and potential.
People like me.
When Care Ends, Support Too Often Stops
Leaving care is treated like a milestone.
But for many of us, it’s the most dangerous moment.
Support drops away just as adulthood begins. You’re suddenly expected to manage everything — without the family safety net most young people rely on well into their twenties.
Nationally, around one in three care leavers will experience homelessness within two years of leaving care. Thousands of young care leavers across the UK are currently facing housing insecurity.
That isn’t bad luck.
It’s the result of systems that stop caring too soon.
Being Written Off Hurts More Than People Realise
Growing up in care means living with labels.
“At risk.”
“Complex.”
“Too much.”
At first, they come from professionals. Over time, you start hearing them in your own head.
That’s when the damage really begins.
I wasn’t a problem.
I was a young person trying to survive instability, loss, and trauma.
What I needed wasn’t judgement or pressure — it was belief and consistency.
Finding Genuine Futures
When I connected with Genuine Futures, things felt different straight away.
There wasn’t pressure to pretend I was fine.
There wasn’t a deadline on support.
There wasn’t judgement when I struggled.
People listened.
They stayed.
They meant what they said.
“People talk about resilience like it’s something you’re born with. But resilience grows when someone believes in you and stays. That’s what I found at Genuine Futures.”
For the first time, I felt like someone saw me, not just my past.
Youth Voice Isn’t a “Nice to Have”
Too many systems are designed about young people without listening to us.
Youth voice isn’t tokenistic. It’s essential.
When young people help shape support, it works better. When lived experience is ignored, the same mistakes are repeated again and again.
Becoming a Youth Voice Ambassador gave me confidence, purpose, and the chance to help change things for others coming behind me.
What Young People Actually Need
From my experience — and from listening to other care-experienced young people — we don’t need more short-term fixes.
We need:
- Consistency, not constant change
- Trusted adults who don’t disappear
- Safe, stable housing
- Time to heal, not pressure to perform
- Opportunities that recognise our strengths
Independence shouldn’t mean isolation.
The Cost of Support Ending Too Early
When support ends too soon, the impact is real:
- mental health declines
- confidence collapses
- education and employment fall away
- homelessness becomes a risk
Too many care leavers feel lonely, overwhelmed, and forgotten.
This isn’t about a lack of resilience.
It’s about a lack of sustained care.
Why I Speak Up
I share my story because I don’t want other young people in Bolton — or anywhere else — to feel the way I did.
I am not a statistic.
I am not a label.
I am proof that when someone stays, things can change.
And I know there are hundreds of young people locally — and thousands nationally — who could thrive if given the same belief and support.
A Message to Decision-Makers
If you are serious about improving outcomes for children in care and care leavers, please listen to us.
Design systems around how young people actually grow — not around age cut-offs, budgets, or convenience.
Support shouldn’t stop at 18, 21, or when funding ends.
Resilience doesn’t come from surviving alone.
It comes from being believed in.
Final Thoughts
In Bolton, around 700 children are growing up in care right now.
Nationally, it’s over 81,000.
Across the UK, more than 107,000.
What happens next depends on the choices we make.
Care should not be a chapter that ends early.
It should be a foundation that lasts.
I wasn’t resilient until someone stayed.
And when someone stays — everything can change.
Written by Paula Yates
Youth Voice Ambassador, Genuine Futures
#YouthVoice #CareLeavers #YoungChildrenMatter #GenuineFutures #SupportThatStays #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs